As I lay awake last night it gave me plenty of time to think
about how important sleep is to healing. Since I am technically not back to
full strength yet, I am slowly adding back to my repertoire of healthy habits.
First came supplements, then Yoga and next week I am going to start working on
sleep.
For the record – I love sleep! Before I started getting ill,
I went to bed at 10 and woke up at 5 (except when my girls were babies) and
thrived on it.
Then, in the Spring of 2004 sleep began to evade me. I
started having what I now know are symptoms of type of cancer I was eventually
diagnosed with a year later. After a long day teaching school, when I was in
bed a night, when my mind was not distracted with a million thoughts, I could
feel there was something going on with my body. I would eventually fall asleep,
but then I would awake with nightmares and racing thoughts. After my symptoms
began to worsen, I started having full blown panic attacks and could only sleep
after endless cups of Sleepytime Extra (thanks Celestial Seasonings), sometimes
a glass of wine and a friend to hold my hand was also necessary to quiet my
fears and send me off to sleep.
When I was finally diagnosed with cancer in March of 2005
sleep became less of an issue. I was on massive doses of pain killers
and anti-nausea drugs. The drugs combined with the effects of the chemo and radiation caused me to sleep away most of the summer.
In late July I was finally done with my cancer treatment
and, being the type of person that I am, I just quit all of my medication cold
turkey. That same day I bid farewell to being able to sleep once again. I would
have terrible visions whenever I tried to sleep and once again
started waking up in a panic. My doctors prescribed sleeping pills, but I could
not tolerate the groggy feeling and, since I was back teaching school a few
weeks after completing treatment, I did not feel it was safe for me to be
responsible for children and not be at my best. So, I turned to watching videos to help me fall
asleep and keep me asleep at night.
I have kicked the habit a few times (2 to be exact) with the
help of some good friends, but as some of my friends and family know (sorry I
know I have kept you awake sometimes) – I am hooked on it again and have been
for quite a while now.
What started me thinking about this recently was talking with Dr. K and she asked me how
much sleep I have been getting. She is the first doctor for several years (even though
I have probably been to the doctor hundreds of times) who asked me about my sleeping habits. I
came clean with her about my less than ideal sleeping routine and when I see her in a few
weeks I am to report back to her how much I have been sleeping.
So, for the last two days I have tried Melatonin and it
makes me very drowsy, but I still have to listen to something to fall asleep (I
am trying an audiobook of Dune) and I still wake up many times a night and am
not able to sleep – even if I take another Melatonin in the middle of the
night.
So, if anyone out there has any good ideas on how I could
sleep – I am taking suggestions.
Sleep has been a big amplifying factor for my anxiety - it's a vicious cycle because if I can't sleep because I'm anxious/panicky, then for the next few days I'm more anxious/panicky because I didn't get enough sleep. And of course then being run down makes everything harder in general.
ReplyDeleteI've had to be careful about what I take too, because of my addiction issues. I never liked melatonin before for the same reasons you talked about. But just recently my new therapist said take 2-3 mg a few hours before you want to sleep, not 30 mins like most guidelines say - and holy crap it works! Deeper sleep and not as groggy in the morning. I thought it would knock me out all evening but it didn't. She said it works because it interacts with daylight and taking it earlier helps it be more transitional and gradual than a sleeping pill would be. Idk if that's true but hey - I'm going with it. I've found melatonin gives me weird dreams but not nightmares, so that's an improvement too. :)
Environment is the other big thing I've had to work on - consistent routine, dark/quiet room, get electronics out of the room if possible. I know you've probably tried every trick in that book.
Oh also - my fiance Katie has major sleep problems too. She found some sleep hypnosis/meditation videos on YouTube and they're amazing. Soothing voice talks you into meditative state. Super cool. I'll ask what her favorites are and send you the link.
Hang in there lady. I'm glad you're blogging about all this!
Okay here's her favorite - he's pretty fantastic. :)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBlWOJgiyGg
Thanks dearest - it has been such a struggle and so many people can relate to not sleeping. I must admit I was surprised to get so much feedback on this. I am doing a bit better. I got rid of my computer and now just have my phone (instead of both). I think I will try the meditation - it is something that is REALLY hard for me though.
ReplyDelete